Feeling like the Rope in Tug o’ War

My big sister has been visiting for almost two weeks. We only get to visit every few years, so I’ve  chosen to spend as much quality time with her as possible. I wish I’d made that decision last week when my heart said to do so. Unfortunately, my mind said:  Complete the blog post and publish it on Monday; be responsible.

I didn’t get the blog post completed in spite of spending days on it. And it really wasn’t about being responsible. It was a family-of-origin, self-limiting pattern of emotions and behaviors.

One of my intentions is to honor my gut instincts, my heart’s direction. Last week, when I didn’t go out with my sister and others but stayed back writing (poorly) and editing (badly) the post, I was aware that something was very off:  I wasn’t in synch with myself, I felt at odds. I felt like the rope in a game of tug of war. But I didn’t heed what my instincts were telling me – which always leads to some form of unhappiness or regret.

The good news is it’s never too late to move forward, and to let go of attachment to self-blame (a common reaction.) I accept that my choice last week came from an old habit. Without judgment I can move on, feeling the rightness of this choice in my body and my being – my proving rods. It leaves me with a feeling of lightness, joy and harmony. The tug o’ war is over.

So today I’m not writing the more complex post I’d intended for last week. Today, I’m honoring my self – not self in the selfish sense, self in a deeper sense, not elevated enough to use an upper case S, but higher than the self of wants and self-centeredness. And I’m honoring my sister and the ties we have:  love, cellular connection, history.  Our time together gives my life richness.

In making this decision I used the same principles I’ve been writing about. I was aware of being off, out of synch with my intention. I moved internally:  changed my angle of perception to realize there is a simple and loving solution that goes beyond black and white considerations of responsible or not responsible. I chose that solution and am acting on it.

This is a small example of adding movement to intention and awareness for transformational purposes, the subject of my un-post last week. Here it’s been used to change a self-limiting behavioral and emotional pattern.  The same principles help transform self-limiting physical patterns to increase mobility and relieve pain.  There’s much more to it, of course, but this is the scent of the essence.

Have a great week and please share your comments.

Coming soon: Part III of an interview with Naturopathic Physician and Homeopath, Dr. Ananda Kramer, on Digestive Harmony and Transformational Healing.

Question for you:  What happens when you change your angle of perception?